The Time I Fainted and Threw Up at the Doctors – 24 May 2013

I had an appointment scheduled to go to the family doctor at 3:40PM. I walked over to the Kaiser building, and entered about 20 minutes early. I signed in at the kiosk, then waited about 10 minutes, and they called me in. The nurse took my weight, blood pressure, and other health details, then asked me if I wanted to get the shots I was due for, TDAP, Meningitis, and HPV. I had refused them my last few visits, because my dad said they were a waste or unneeded. I asked the nurse if the shots were free, and she said they were, so I decided I might as well get them done. She told me to wait in the room after the doc was done, so the nurse could come and give me the shots.

The doc came in and I showed him what I came there for, the stubborn wart that had never disappeared, (even after being frozen 5 times over 3 visits), and two new warts that had popped up on the other hand. He did an extra-long freezing treatment on each wart, twice. It actually did become rather painful, but I have a high threshold for pain, and I didn’t even flinch. He also prescribed me a topical treatment to get from the pharmacy afterward, to hit the stubborn wart on two fronts.

Now that the wart part was over, I waited and the nurse came in to give me the vaccines. She asked which arm I used most, I told her my left, so she was going to do 1 shot in 1 arm, and 2 in the other. She said she needed access to my upper arm, so I partially unbuttoned my shirt, and pulled it down off of my arms.

She sterilized a spot and put a shot in my right arm, then quickly did it with a second shot. They were somewhat painful, but I felt almost as if they didn’t go in far enough, although I’m sure the nurse knew what she was doing. I shifted my shirt to the other side, and she put the third shot into my left upper arm. Suddenly I felt a very strange form of tired, it was a mix of the feelings you get after exercising too much, waking up too early, and standing up too fast.

I told the nurse, “I feel kind of…”

“Light-headed?” she asked.

“Yes,” I answered.

Without even another second passing, my vision changed in an instant to pitch black, with colorful lights circling around at very fast speeds. A techno song was playing in my head that I had been listening to earlier that day, Krewella – Alive (Pegboard Nerds Remix), only it was twice as fast now. The patterns of lights kept switching from one type to another; there were rows of colorful circles criss-crossing each other one second, then I saw a person glitching like a frozen video game character the next second. I think the glitching person I saw may have been a version of myself. Then the black background turned to the doctor’s office, but the moving lights stayed for a few seconds before gradually fading. I regained consciousness at maybe five different intervals over the next two seconds.

When I first saw the office, I realized “this is a doctor’s office; this doesn’t fit the pattern of colorful flashing scenes, something’s wrong.”
Next I realized who I was, but thought I was somehow dreaming. Then I realized that the scene was not changing to the next thing, so this must not be a dream, this must be the “awake.”

Then I realized that I am in real life, in the doctors office, but I must have just been day dreaming and suddenly snapped to. Then I thought of how boring a place a doctors office is to be. Then I realized that my life was not nearly as exiting as the dream. Then I realized that I must have fainted. Then I thought “no way, I don’t faint, I’m not one of those people, fainting is for middle aged mothers that see anything remotely controversial.” Then I finally accepted that I did faint, and I finally remembered what I was doing there at the doctors office, and that I had just gotten some vaccines.

The first few things I noticed after becoming conscious was that I was in a great queasy pain, that I was breathing very quickly and deeply, that my vision was completely messed up, with much of it covered by large floating black blobs, and that I couldn’t talk very well.

I asked the nurse “How long… was I out?” She said I was just out for a second, but it was a good thing I said something before, because she was able to catch me before I fell out of the chair, although my head did fall to one side.

I told her I felt like I was going to throw up, and she gave me this weird net-like bag, with a circular opening about the size of a hockey puck. I really didn’t know how, in my extremely uncoordinated state, I was supposed to make it in there… and I didn’t.

I started throwing up, in three of four violent bursts, only getting about half in the bag, and the rest all over my shirt and pants. The nurse then handed me about 10 crumpled wads of paper towels and tissues, wetting some of them.

I tried to clean myself up, and I ended up taking off my shirt. I didn’t have enough strength to undo the last button on the shirt, and the puke made it a little slippery. After struggling for at least 30 seconds, I finally got it. The whole time the nurse was turning her head away while trying to hand me more paper towels.

After throwing up, I started to feel normal again. I was told that color was starting to return to my face, as it had previously been white as a sheet. At least 3 different nurses came in, as well as the doc, and they each kept asking me how I was feeling. I was brought some water, and then some orange soda, to get the taste out of my mouth. I was also given a new shirt to keep.

When I told them I’d walked over there for my appointment, they told me there’s no way I could walk home, so they called my mom, who called my sister and her boyfriend to come pick me up. I got my wart prescription, then waited for them at the front.

After that, I spent the rest of the day with the two of them and Josh, playing this crazy fantasy game Small World, watching internet vids, and shooting some pool at Stix. All in all, It was an extremely crazy day.


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