“It felt fuckin’ great!” – 30 June 2014

Me and Gav were making pinatas in Gav’s garage. He decided to make a shark, while I made a skunk. We started by cutting up some cardboard and making frames. Gav’s shark was small and floppy, while my skunk was big and tough. My skunk could have eaten his shark.

 

Will came over and saw what we were doing. He then suggested that we get Jimmy, as he was scheduled to be off work as a whipping boy at Dairy Queen soon. Will and Gav rode off on some bikes while I worked on my pinata, and they soon returned with Jimmy.

 

We all chilled in Gav’s garage into the night, Gav and me tirelessly constructing our cardboard animals. We realized Nick would also be getting off work soon, so me and Gav hopped in a car to go get him. We went to his animal hospital (and didn’t get lost like that one time), and found him near the front. When he was close enough to the car, we pulled forward and made him chase us. He got all mad and was like “seriously guys, let me in!”

 

So we let him in and we all went to CVS to pick out some candy for the pinatas. On the way there, Nick was telling us the story of how he’d lost his virginity the previous week. He was very descriptive, he said he got lost an hour before he even made it to the girl’s house. When he was done with the story, we asked him how it felt, and he enthusiastically screamed “IT FELT FUCKIN’ GREAAAAT!” Once we were inside CVS, Gavin picked a bag Snickers Peanut Butter Squared for his pinata, while I picked white chocolate Reese’s for mine. Nick chose some assorted Hershey’s as some additional filler for both pinatas. The three of us then went to the McDonalds across the street, and while we were in there Will and Jimmy came in too. Apparently, they had biked over there looking for us.

 

Jimmy left, and we raced Will back to Gavin’s house. We stayed up late playing Call of Duty. Will and I stepped out of the room for a second, and I started raiding Gabin’s fridges. I found some chimichangas so I started making one, and asked Will if he wanted one too; He said “yes,” so I stuck two in the microwave while giddily chanting “ooooh Gavin’s gonna be so pissed, Gavin’s gonna be so pissed!”

 

The next day it was just me and Gav, so we started putting paper mache on the pinatas. We accomplished this by cutting up strips of news paper, and soaking it in a water-glue mixture, before placing it on the pinatas.

 

While we waited for it to try, we headed down to the mall to pick up chicks for the pinata party. First, we found these two 13-year-old looking white girls, a blonde with braces and a brunette. Gavin approached the blonde with me at his side.

 

“I don’t usually just do this, but you girls wanna come to a pinata party? I’m Gavin.”

 

The girl introduced herself, and then said she was going to see her cousin in the valley tomorrow so she couldn’t come.

 

“Your cousin sounds nice,” I chimed in.

 

“Are you going to see her cousin too?” Gavin asked the other girl.

 

“Yes,” she replied.

 

We went searching for new prey. We stumbled upon these two Latina looking girls sitting on a bench looking at their phones. I told Gavin that the last encounter was too formal, we should just skip the intros and get right into the question this time. He walked up to the girls.

 

“Pinata party, wanna come?”

 

“….What?”

 

“You know, like pinatas, like animals with candy inside them.”

 

“What did you ask?”

 

“I said do you want to come to a party.”

 

“Oooooooh, I was like ‘what is this guy talking about?’ haha!”

 

The second girl never even looked up from her phone. Gavin started walking away so I followed.

 

“Those girls were not down,” he commented.

 

“You know, they never actually said ‘no’,” I noted.

 

We contemplated going back and asking them if they actually wanted to come, but we decided that there was no salvaging the situation. Instead, we paid a visit to Jimmy, working at Dairy Queen. He told us about a party that was going on that night at Nathan’s house. We knew we had to crash it.

 

We left the mall and stopped by the park to watch the underage girls play softball a while. Some of them were fucking huge, they could probably beat us up. Whenever a nice one stepped up to bat, I’d look over at Gavin, who’d be shaking his head, saying “don’t even say it dude.” Some of them were pretty nice.

 

We left there and got back to Gavin’s, before packing up and heading to Nathan’s. We brought many surprises for him. At his house was him, Sean, Will, Jacob, Cameron, Steven, Monsantos, Jimmy, and this girl Jimmy brought named Bell.

 

A pulled out a bag of water balloons, which instantly caught the attention of Sean and Bell. I handed Sean the bag and went to talk with the others for a few minutes. When I got back to the kitchen, I saw Sean filling up a balloon at the tap, and Bell pressing about ten filled balloons to her chest.

 

“Are you planning on having a water balloon fight?” I asked, “because if you are, I want in!”

 

She handed me a water balloon and I got ready for the fight of my life. Sean was still filling the last few balloons, and I didn’t notice everyone start to file outside.

 

When I walked out the front door, I noticed a big Mexican standoff of water balloons. There were at least four boyos with water balloons trained on one another, but no one made the first throw.

 

I took a step toward them and was blindsided by a water balloon from my left. Bell had been waiting on a window ledge next to the front door to ambush whoever came out. The balloon smacked me, but failed to explode, I made it out dry and unscathed. The first thing on my mind was vengeance, but she was right next to a window, so it would be too risky to toss my balloon at her.

 

More people came out the front door to see what was happening, and they fell right into her web, just as I did. Water balloons finally started flying from every direction. People were chasing each other like hounds. Some of the balloons found their unfortunate mark, and others skidded across the grass, often releasing their tidal-wave payloads.

 

I still managed to stay dry, my single water balloon acted as my shield of mutually assured destruction. Bell had run out of balloons, and she tried to flee down the grass, my opportunity had come. She was running toward my direction unawares. Her doom had arrived, I let fly my single missile of watery doom.

 

SPLASH!

 

It caught her hard, right in the hip. Water soaked her right leg, and I was victorious.

 

Later that night, most of the party-goers were gathered around a table on Nathan’s back porch. Gav and I hatched a devious plan. I gave Gav a fart bomb, and he opened the backdoor and quickly threw the bomb onto the table. We retreated to the other end of the house, and watched the chaos through the back door. People were up in arms in no time, and their raised voices echoed in the night. We hid and snickered about our mischief.

 

After we were done thoroughly fucking shit up there, we went to go pick up Tessa and take a trip to the beach. We took turns going on the zip line on the big boat, and I tossed some fireworks while people were zip lining to light up their course. At one point, we found a playground to play on. I climbed up this on structure and tried to slide down a wet slide on my shoes. Halfway down, my feet slid out from under me and I landed on my ass, unwillingly joining the Wet Ass Society.

 

That night, we got back to Gav’s and Will ate all the Snickers. In the morning, he was gone. Me, Gav, and Tessa filled up Gavin’s shark with the Hershey’s candy and Gav put the final touch on it, a coat of blue and orange striped spray paint that made it look like a tiger shark.

 

We took it over to Camino Real Park, and used Tessa’s jacket as a blindfold. We strung it up on a tree next to a playground, and took turns going at it with a stick we found. The scene attracted the attention of three Mexican children. They thought it was amusing, but when the candy spilled out, instead of grabbing it, they only wanted to stomp on it. With one pinata destroyed, the verdict of the remaining pinata was annihilation the next week…

 

 

 

 

 

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