Two Lesbians and a Seal – 7 June 2014

Gav and I still had the skunk pinata from the previous weekend. I got to work spray painting it, giving it a nice white stripe down the center, and some green and blue startle coloration on the back and legs. Once it was complete, we packed it up with some rope and headed out to fetch some boyos.


First on our list was Nick. We pulled up to his neighborhood, and stopped at a street downhill from the one he was on. We then called him, and told him to run down the hill fast to meet us. Right after we hung up, we got out of the car, and into the barranca across the street. We went deeper and deeper into it, until we were completely out of sight, behind some trees. We then watched the car with anticipation.


Nick came running, and looked into the car windows. He then stood there looking thoroughly confused.


“Take a picture of Nick next to the car and send it to him,” I suggested.


Gavin pulled out his phone, held it just over a log, and snapped a picture of Nick. Then he sat there and tapped on his phone for a while. Unexpectedly, Gavin’s phone started to ring. He picked it up.


“Hello? … Yeah, we’re in the car, hop in quick! … We’re totally in here, jump in! … Dude we’re in the trunk, get in the car! … Because it’s a quiet trunk!”


Nick looked around and then left the car. Me and Gav sprang up quick and ran over to it, climbing back into it. We called Nick back and told him to come back quick. He came back and found us in the car this time. When he finally got in, we asked him “dude, we’ve been in here the whole time, why didn’t you get in?”


After that we were bound for Will’s house. We parked outside his house and he hopped in the car. The four of us were soon on our way to the beach.


We got there and scouted out some good sites to hang the pinata. Most of the trees were palm trees without branches, and the few other trees that weren’t palm trees were too low to the ground. We decided it would be best if we went on top of the boat on the sand, and hung the pinata up from the sails there.


Before we could do that, Tessa showed up with her friends Mel and Phoebe. They were both pretty attractive. Phoebe was tall and redheaded, while Mel was shorter and a brunette. They didn’t seem too interested in what we were doing, the three of them went walking down the beach.


So we got up on the boat, and it was clear that the pinata rope wasn’t long enough for the main sail, so we would have to hang it on the smaller one. The pinata itself was too heavy to throw far enough up there, so we needed to attach a weight to the other end of the rope and toss it. I searched the sand for a rock large enough, but there were none. That’s when I had an excellent idea; I had an old water bottle in my backpack, so I took it out and filled it up with sand, put the cap back on it, and tied the end of the rope around it.


I tried to toss it over the sail, but it fell short twice. Nick gave it a try, and got it on his third or forth try. We then blindfolded each other and took turns trying to whack it with this wooden stick. There was only one problem: the candy kept falling out and landing in the sand. We had to try to brush as much sand as we could off of the candies before we tried to eat them because it got inside the wrapper. We ended up just tossing the majority of the candy at each other instead of eating it. Whenever someone was up to hit the pinata, we would always throw broken pieces of the pinata and sandy candy at them. “You’re right next to it!” I yelled, as I tossed a cardboard leg at Nick’s head.


Phoebe and Mel returned, but didn’t seem too interested in any of it, they just stood on the sidelines and talked with Tessa. We tried to get them involved, and even tossed some of the candy at them.


When we were done with the pinata, the seven of us went for a walk along the beach, and we saw a crowd of people, mostly Mexicans, circling something. As we got closer we saw a seal just chilling on the beach. It was just sitting there quietly, turning its head back and forth to observe the crowd.


One of the Mexicans suggested that someone should give it some alcohol. Another one said “it probably came up here to take a shit, and nobody’s letting it take a shit.”


Occasionally, the seal would flop a meter or two up the beach toward the rocks, and the Mexicans would all scurry away and laugh as if it was about to rush them, before encircling it again.


There was one white guy with a bulky camera around his neck, that was always the closest to the seal. He reached out and started petting its back. Whenever he did, the seal would make this loud barking noise, so we decided it was probably a bad idea.


After we were done hanging out with the seal, the girls had to go back to Ojai. We called up Kyle to be their replacement, and hung out with him for a bit.


To this day, Gavin fervently claims that his pinata was better; to be honest, neither of them actually attracted that much attention, especially from ladies, whom we made the pinatas specifically to attract.


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